I am still on the meal plan at UGA...eh. That's about all I feel about the meal plan. I am indifferent except to the fact that I get lots of good material from it. Today I give you the brief dialog of a sandwich line conversation that I witnessed:
Girl A: We are going to call her Sandy, because she made the sandwich. Judging a book my her cover and all, she was kinda funky, but obviously intelligent, as you shall see.
Girl B: Not so intelligent, and seemingly stuck way up. We are going Boujie for reason's you shall see.
Here goes:
Sandy: (friendly smile): Would you like it [sandwich] cut in half?
Boujie: Ummm, yeah. But, can you cut it in triangles? I know that's weird, right? (unnecessary "right?")
Sandy: No problem. I read an study about how people who cut their sandwiches into triangles are of an elite nature and are usually really intelligent.Can you believe a whole group of scientist study people's sandwich habits?
Boujie: Oh My Gosh, Really?! Haha, thanks. (Takes her sandwich and walks away)
Sandy: Sure! (fake smile)
Brief, right.
Well, Sandy lied. How do I know? Sandy's eye roll was issued about the time the lovely Boujie walked away...And the fact that I do that, too.
It's simple really. You can make anyone believe anything you say as long as you put in one of the following:
"I read that..."
"I saw a study on..."
"On the History Channel..."
It tends to work better if you seem trusting and you are quick, as Sandy was. Also, if you can squeeze in a date or any other relevant information on the "study" you can hook people really easily. Notice Boujie did not say, "I am going to check your source." This is the real world, and people believe anything.
It also really helps if the person is kinda...well, dumb. And egotistic.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Sunday Mornings
My family is probably not the most unconventional family you will ever meet, but we rank pretty high. Both of my parents grew up in homes that were centered around family time and the meals that coincided with these times. The Sunday morning dinner table was, and still is, a time of togetherness and love. Piles upon piles of food are served and a rather polite meal takes place in my grandparents' homes. We are a little different.
My mother still insists on piles and piles of food, and we still have a room full of love and family. But, our Sunday's are far from the conventional meals that other families have. Most of the time we have people running in and out: my dad often takes last minute trips to the store, Kristen seems to always be getting dressed, and my mom and I are usually left stirring pots and washing pans, and there is even sometimes the additional guest or two.
Last Sunday we had an early lunch. Again, my mother and I cooked while Kristen did her hair and my dad worked outside. I was getting prepared to go back to school so we were all a little rushed feeling. Kristen finally finishes her "process" and we all sit down at the table. "Get-me-this's" flew around the kitchen as Blue Plate squeezed and knives began to cut. Any conversation goes at our table and I believe Kristen was singing a stupid 80's song to herself when she reached over and grabbed some Okra off my dad's plate. Don't ask my why, but Okra is a supreme delicacy for everyone in my family...though I can't figure this out, because it is in the store all year. No matter, we had some and we fought (hard) over it.
Pause: Let me explain about my sister's not-so-lovely singing voice. A) I am not a musician/singer, but that thing is not on pitch B) It is supppper shrill...like blade cutting into your forehead. That shrill. C) She loves to sing...refer to A and B.
Play: She had been singing all morning. Now, she had not been singing songs that I could tell...more or less phrases and, well, crap. My dad had told her to cut the split-your-head-right-open singing out and eat...When she reached over and grabbed the well rationed Okra, his eyes got as wide as a Clementine. This is where it gets good. He curled in his lips (the only real way you know my dad is mad) just about the time he was getting ready to open his mouth and begin a lecture...She belts "Calm Yo-self" right up in his grill. I almost choked!
At this point she turned to me and says, "You know that song that goes 'Release yo-self"...I changed it!" Oh-my-word. My dad just looked back down at his plate and kept eating...I really don't think he could deal with her in a serious manner at this point.
Oh, about 2 minutes later I comment on how cold I was. Kristen then takes out her invisible mic and begins her rendition of the "Bring It On" cheer and claps off beat.
Burrrrrr, It's cold in Here
There must be some Clovers in the Atmosphere
She does not Cheer. But I think it's funny that every time she's cold, this song comes into play. So...naturally I hit the beat. DomDom-Dom-DomDom. My mom then decides she would hum along as my dad's eyes get larger and larger.
I am trying to think what my grandfather would say if I would have started beat boxin' at his dinner table...Probably nothing. He would have just shaken his head and said a quiet prayer. :)
Please review the link below. Sorry about the crappy quality.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IotiNcTQ3sE&feature=related
My mother still insists on piles and piles of food, and we still have a room full of love and family. But, our Sunday's are far from the conventional meals that other families have. Most of the time we have people running in and out: my dad often takes last minute trips to the store, Kristen seems to always be getting dressed, and my mom and I are usually left stirring pots and washing pans, and there is even sometimes the additional guest or two.
Last Sunday we had an early lunch. Again, my mother and I cooked while Kristen did her hair and my dad worked outside. I was getting prepared to go back to school so we were all a little rushed feeling. Kristen finally finishes her "process" and we all sit down at the table. "Get-me-this's" flew around the kitchen as Blue Plate squeezed and knives began to cut. Any conversation goes at our table and I believe Kristen was singing a stupid 80's song to herself when she reached over and grabbed some Okra off my dad's plate. Don't ask my why, but Okra is a supreme delicacy for everyone in my family...though I can't figure this out, because it is in the store all year. No matter, we had some and we fought (hard) over it.
Pause: Let me explain about my sister's not-so-lovely singing voice. A) I am not a musician/singer, but that thing is not on pitch B) It is supppper shrill...like blade cutting into your forehead. That shrill. C) She loves to sing...refer to A and B.
Play: She had been singing all morning. Now, she had not been singing songs that I could tell...more or less phrases and, well, crap. My dad had told her to cut the split-your-head-right-open singing out and eat...When she reached over and grabbed the well rationed Okra, his eyes got as wide as a Clementine. This is where it gets good. He curled in his lips (the only real way you know my dad is mad) just about the time he was getting ready to open his mouth and begin a lecture...She belts "Calm Yo-self" right up in his grill. I almost choked!
At this point she turned to me and says, "You know that song that goes 'Release yo-self"...I changed it!" Oh-my-word. My dad just looked back down at his plate and kept eating...I really don't think he could deal with her in a serious manner at this point.
Oh, about 2 minutes later I comment on how cold I was. Kristen then takes out her invisible mic and begins her rendition of the "Bring It On" cheer and claps off beat.
Burrrrrr, It's cold in Here
There must be some Clovers in the Atmosphere
She does not Cheer. But I think it's funny that every time she's cold, this song comes into play. So...naturally I hit the beat. DomDom-Dom-DomDom. My mom then decides she would hum along as my dad's eyes get larger and larger.
I am trying to think what my grandfather would say if I would have started beat boxin' at his dinner table...Probably nothing. He would have just shaken his head and said a quiet prayer. :)
Please review the link below. Sorry about the crappy quality.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IotiNcTQ3sE&feature=related
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
28 Followers!!!!!
Thanks everyone for following me :) I am over 1/4th of the way to my goal! Keep suggesting my blog to your friends and family so I can build my audience. Love you all and thank you for the support!
Bachelor Day Dream...
Monday night I missed this week's episode of The Bachelor because there was a very intense True Blood marathon happening in my room. Now, for all you critics out there, I do realize The Bachelor is stupid and insane and kinda weird in a I-date-tons-of-men/women kind of way. I get it, but I love it.
This week the lovely Brad picked one of the girls up in a hot sports car for their one-on-one date and drove her through the city out to, what seemed like, an abandoned field. Turns out that when the young lady flipped a switch she turned on a huge carnival that was being rented out for the two love birds. Collective "awwwww".
The lovers spent a wonderful night spinning around the roller coasters, eating cotton candy, blah blah blah...
I, however, think that this is a totally unrealistic date...for several reasons.
#1- Convertible. Romantic and expensive, I know. But problem one: the hair...messed up for TV :(
problem two: my eyes water in the wind which leads
all my hard work rolling down my face.
#2- The only carnival/fair that I think of when I hear the word "fair" is the McNair Fair. If you are from the metro Atlanta area, I am sure you have seen these either advertise or you have been to one. SCARY. To my future boyfriend/man/husband, The McNair Fair is not somewhere you want to take me. This is not because I am super stuck up, it is because the fair is crap. Broken down crap rides that are scary.
#3- This girl was told to get really dressed up for their date. She wore a really short dress with no straps. Me? Boobs would have fallen out and the dress would have flown up. Not my best moment.
#4- What if I threw up?
All of the above are significant thoughts that should cross the producers mind when he sends people on these unrealistic, Hollywood dates. They should think about girls like me...with half a brain.
This week the lovely Brad picked one of the girls up in a hot sports car for their one-on-one date and drove her through the city out to, what seemed like, an abandoned field. Turns out that when the young lady flipped a switch she turned on a huge carnival that was being rented out for the two love birds. Collective "awwwww".
The lovers spent a wonderful night spinning around the roller coasters, eating cotton candy, blah blah blah...
I, however, think that this is a totally unrealistic date...for several reasons.
#1- Convertible. Romantic and expensive, I know. But problem one: the hair...messed up for TV :(
problem two: my eyes water in the wind which leads
all my hard work rolling down my face.
#2- The only carnival/fair that I think of when I hear the word "fair" is the McNair Fair. If you are from the metro Atlanta area, I am sure you have seen these either advertise or you have been to one. SCARY. To my future boyfriend/man/husband, The McNair Fair is not somewhere you want to take me. This is not because I am super stuck up, it is because the fair is crap. Broken down crap rides that are scary.
#3- This girl was told to get really dressed up for their date. She wore a really short dress with no straps. Me? Boobs would have fallen out and the dress would have flown up. Not my best moment.
#4- What if I threw up?
All of the above are significant thoughts that should cross the producers mind when he sends people on these unrealistic, Hollywood dates. They should think about girls like me...with half a brain.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Confession(s)
1) I like to read
2) I like to read trashy romance novels...sue me
3) I read Twilight and liked it
4) I've been to the midnight showings of the movies with my bestie...and I liked it
5) I own the DVD's
The vampire uproar is interesting and like a twisted Days of Our Lives.
These, however, are not my confessions. They get much worse.
My confessions is I have caused my father to become addicted to the show Vampire Diaries.
It all started about a week and a half ago when my dad was at work function, when my mom was sick, and when my sister was scouring the internet to find cheaper school books. I was, to say the least, bored and was playing around on my laptop to pass the time before I gave my mom more meds and juice. (I am a really good nurse.) My roommate has been watching the Vampire Diaries a few times a week and she has suggested it to me. So, I looked online for the first season...everywhere! Hulu did not have it, the WB did not have it... I ended up finding the complete season on some sketchy website that probably gave me a virus or something. But shhhhh, we don't have to tell dad that!
You know on YouTube how the small video can become a whole screen...yeah well this website has obviously failed to acquire that kind of technology and it only took me about two episodes of blurry, pre-recorded, small screen-ness and a headache before I finally called it quits and went to bed. But, I was interested.
Anyone will tell you that the first episode or two has some B.A.D. acting. Like, real bad. But my bestie and I were yet again bored over this terribly long winter break and she slid by Blockbuster and rented the season.
That was a Sunday. On this said Sunday, my dad and I had some bonding time in the cold wind as we washed and cleaned out vehicles. I asked him several times if it would be okay that my friend came over and we watched the show on the big screen in the living room. "Sure, that's fine!"...and the deed was done.
I feel a little bit bad that I forgot to mention that the show had 22 episodes, but he seemed okay with it. So I let it be.
About three episodes in, and around 7:00pm, my sister, her boyfriend, and my parents all started to roam into the living room asking a ton of questions and begggggging for us to turn off the vampires. Oh would they be sorry...
We took a break. Monday we started back and my mom began watching after we caught up her on the drama...Slowly but surely the acting started to get better, too. She was hooked and even woke back up that night to come watch with us.
During the past few days we would watch and then my dad would come home from work. We (I) would pause to make dinner/clean up, he would come home, we would eat and watch. At first, my father criticized the acting, sketchy town setting, the weird make-up the actors wore during "vampire moments", but then...he started asking questions. And not questions like: "Why do we have to watch this?" or "When will y'all be finished?"
They were deep questions: "Now, who is Elaina's mother again?" and "Is the history teacher a vampire, too?" He even wanted us to pause it for him when he went to change out of his work clothes or refill his plate.
This went on for...days. 22 episodes is a lot, and this was not the only thing we did. Nevertheless, days until finally last night we finish up with the season finale. It was juicy but kind of a crappy ending. I explained to the much involved family that they are in the middle of the second season on TV now. Everyone looked so sad. (I told you so!!)
When I wake up this morning and give my mom a call at work, she informs me that my dad asked her this morning if we could Tivo the new episodes. He told her, "I really want to find out about that guy whose fingers got cut off. I just need to know what happens."
And this, my friends, is how I got my dad hooked on a Vampire soap opera.
1) Be persistant
2) Have back-up (ie: mom, sister, friend)
3) Make sure the subject likes you enough to give you what you want. Oh yeah...best dad evaaaaaa.
2) I like to read trashy romance novels...sue me
3) I read Twilight and liked it
4) I've been to the midnight showings of the movies with my bestie...and I liked it
5) I own the DVD's
The vampire uproar is interesting and like a twisted Days of Our Lives.
These, however, are not my confessions. They get much worse.
My confessions is I have caused my father to become addicted to the show Vampire Diaries.
It all started about a week and a half ago when my dad was at work function, when my mom was sick, and when my sister was scouring the internet to find cheaper school books. I was, to say the least, bored and was playing around on my laptop to pass the time before I gave my mom more meds and juice. (I am a really good nurse.) My roommate has been watching the Vampire Diaries a few times a week and she has suggested it to me. So, I looked online for the first season...everywhere! Hulu did not have it, the WB did not have it... I ended up finding the complete season on some sketchy website that probably gave me a virus or something. But shhhhh, we don't have to tell dad that!
You know on YouTube how the small video can become a whole screen...yeah well this website has obviously failed to acquire that kind of technology and it only took me about two episodes of blurry, pre-recorded, small screen-ness and a headache before I finally called it quits and went to bed. But, I was interested.
Anyone will tell you that the first episode or two has some B.A.D. acting. Like, real bad. But my bestie and I were yet again bored over this terribly long winter break and she slid by Blockbuster and rented the season.
That was a Sunday. On this said Sunday, my dad and I had some bonding time in the cold wind as we washed and cleaned out vehicles. I asked him several times if it would be okay that my friend came over and we watched the show on the big screen in the living room. "Sure, that's fine!"...and the deed was done.
I feel a little bit bad that I forgot to mention that the show had 22 episodes, but he seemed okay with it. So I let it be.
About three episodes in, and around 7:00pm, my sister, her boyfriend, and my parents all started to roam into the living room asking a ton of questions and begggggging for us to turn off the vampires. Oh would they be sorry...
We took a break. Monday we started back and my mom began watching after we caught up her on the drama...Slowly but surely the acting started to get better, too. She was hooked and even woke back up that night to come watch with us.
During the past few days we would watch and then my dad would come home from work. We (I) would pause to make dinner/clean up, he would come home, we would eat and watch. At first, my father criticized the acting, sketchy town setting, the weird make-up the actors wore during "vampire moments", but then...he started asking questions. And not questions like: "Why do we have to watch this?" or "When will y'all be finished?"
They were deep questions: "Now, who is Elaina's mother again?" and "Is the history teacher a vampire, too?" He even wanted us to pause it for him when he went to change out of his work clothes or refill his plate.
This went on for...days. 22 episodes is a lot, and this was not the only thing we did. Nevertheless, days until finally last night we finish up with the season finale. It was juicy but kind of a crappy ending. I explained to the much involved family that they are in the middle of the second season on TV now. Everyone looked so sad. (I told you so!!)
When I wake up this morning and give my mom a call at work, she informs me that my dad asked her this morning if we could Tivo the new episodes. He told her, "I really want to find out about that guy whose fingers got cut off. I just need to know what happens."
And this, my friends, is how I got my dad hooked on a Vampire soap opera.
1) Be persistant
2) Have back-up (ie: mom, sister, friend)
3) Make sure the subject likes you enough to give you what you want. Oh yeah...best dad evaaaaaa.
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