Bumble Bees

There are two pests that seem to overrun Athens. The first are the enormous amount of cockroaches that consume the city at night. If you have ever walked in the direction away from downtown, you would have noticed that with every step there seemed to be something moving. Well, it was. I guess they come out at night because no one is around? I guess they are attracted to certain sections of North Campus in particular; I guess they like all that sweet alcohol that has been soaked into the dirt for the past, eh, 116 or 117 years. Give or take. Understandable I suppose.

The next of these pests I have only recently begun to notice. Bees. Now, I'm no Animal Science major and  I don't know what kind of bees they are, nor do I really care. All I car about is the fact that one ruined my apple today and his sister almost made me pee my pants.

My recognition of these said bees began when my roommate came home with a huge lump on her arm. Shocking, just shocking. It was, to say it nicely, HUGEEEEE and scary. We took care of that though. The second was when I was on a bus and there was a bee inside with us. Screams and shrieks were heard all around.

Today, was my third and most recent encounter with the fuzzy, yellow guys. I was waiting ever so patiently for a bus that was late, and in turn I was late, when I decided to whip out my apple and munch. I was munching along when I noticed a few girls down from me were swatting at some bees. What? Did your mother never teach you anything? You don't swat. So I watch these girls swat and I keep munching and then a quite attractive male approaches. Now, this male just happens to be is ridiculously in shape. Nice, huh? Broad shoulders, nice tan, groovin' to his iPod, the works.  I keep on munching and enjoying my view when all of a sudden two giant sized bumble bees, apparently, attached this said male. Watching the girls a few folks down had caused me to snicker, but this guy was C-R-A-Z-Y. His long legs flew into the air, arms flapped (disco style), and that's when he initiated this weird half twist in attempts to get away from the bees. Thank goodness for my aforementioned apple. It was only only thing that kept me from a rolling over, abdominal grab, deep laugh. As if this was not enough, he then shooed the bees towards me and let out a nice long squeal. I keep telling myself that his iPod made him unaware of the noises he was sending over towards me.

Thanks cute-male-who-sent-bees-over. The bees then tried to attack me, but I had learned my lesson: don't look like a hellafool while trying to get away from bees. I walked away, as calmly as I could. This is when a bee landed upon my Red-Delicious. Uhhhh. My cheeks turned red in fury. My snack had been ruined. As the bee stayed on my apple I wholeheartedly threw it into the nearest trashcan. Brittany Lofton: bee tamer. Cute-male: not so much.